Limitations and Opportunities

"Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they're yours." - Richard Bach

That is a quote that resonates with me.  I am a very strong and effective advocate for my limitations.  My strongest arguments are as follows:

• It's all been done before.  There is nothing that I can think, write, photograph, or cook that hasn't already been thought, written, photographed, cooked, etc.  Why bother if I can't do something new? 
• I can't do "it" because of a lack of skills, creativity, etc.  
• Failure will surely make me a laughingstock, to myself, my husband, my family, my friends, perfect strangers
• I will have to admit that I don't know something.
• If I don't succeed on the first try, I can't do it. 

Within all of these arguments lies a contradiction, and each is encumbered with pride, fear and laziness.  

It's all been done before.  

Of course it has all been done before, but as Liz Gilbert so eloquently points out in her book Big Magic "Most things have already been done - but they have not yet been done by you.".  

It is quite prideful to think that, after 6,000 years of civilization, and my sheltered life in Cleveland, OH, I am going to find something to do that hasn't already been done or at least thought of.  It is not impossible, but it is certainly not a reason try things that I, personally, haven't already done.  

I can't do "it".  

That may be a true statement, but it is wholly dependent upon what "it" is.  There are things that I am never going to have the skill to do.  I'm definitely not coordinated or athletic - I can't go to the Olympics.  That is a fact. 

Other "its" -  things I have an interest in such as writing, photography and cooking - are certainly do-able.  These things simply require practice and dedication.  But most importantly, all require hands-on trial and error.  It is quite prideful to think that I am going to be good at something the first time I pick it up to try.  My lazy streak manifests itself when I become burdened thinking about pushing myself to learn a new skill.  My fear of failure convinces me that I shouldn't even try.   

Failure will make me a laughingstock 

Yes, people may laugh at me.  But so what?  I may take a funny picture or cook something inedible.  This does not mean that I am doomed to failure!  Overcome the pride and fear factors by learning to laugh at myself, and most importantly, learning what went wrong so that I can try again next time.  

I will have to admit that I don't know something.  

Ouch.  

I don't know everything.  

When I think about the amount of things there are to learn about on this planet, I know nothing.  For some reason, I always want to be the person that walks into a class already an expert on the subject being taught.  Maybe if I close my mouth and open my ears, I will learn something well enough to ask a well thought out question.    

If I don't succeed on the first try, I can't do it.  

I have learned that it can actually be a curse to have natural ability.  I have found that it makes it so much easier to give up on things that I do not succeed at doing on the first or second try.  I also find myself embarrassed if I don't ace something the first time I do it. 

Arguing for my limitations causes me to miss out on many opportunities.  I am beginning to learn that creativity is fostered by pursuing interests and activities where I will never fully "arrive".  There is no finish line.  There is no perfect.  There is always room for improvement and growth, and always a new technique to learn.  

As long as it does not stop future attempts, failure can actually be a more valuable part of the creative process than success, and reminding myself of this helps me face my fear.  Failure slows things down and causes me to fight the urge to be a know-it-all and seriously examine the process. It humbles me, with the reminder that I am blessed with so much more to learn.  It makes me tougher and builds grit.  It also makes me more empathetic to others who are on their journeys.