Health: Looking Good and Feeling Good

I've decided to lump health and beauty into one category, since looking good requires feeling good, and vice versa. In addition, health will include mental and emotional aspects in addition to the obvious physical ones.  When my mind is encumbered with anxiety and depression, I do not take good care of myself.  

It is very difficult, for me, to think on a small scale when I'm planning; I tend to plan big.  As established previously, I do tend to bite off way more than I can chew, but paradoxically, I am unable to portion smaller bites for myself without having a good grasp on what the big goal is.

Lessons in 2016 taught me that it is OK to plan big, but in order to succeed, the steps must be small and manageable.  Here are the 5 big goals that will guide the smaller bites I choose to take throughout the year.

1. Eat better food and less of it.

2. Move daily.

3. Pay closer attention to beauty regimen details.

4. Practice mindfulness.  (Sense of Purpose)

Eat Better Food...and Less of It.

When it comes to food, here are some things I know and have discovered about myself.  I:

• Love to cook, and love to cook a variety of foods. 
• Don't like to eat first thing in the morning.
• Go from not hungry at all to ravenously hungry. 
• Like plenty of healthy, whole foods, but make bad choices when ravenously hungry. 
• Prefer the salty over the sweet.
• Enjoy an adult beverage to wind down. 

Here are the first small goals:

1. Follow the 80/20 rule.  

There are 365 days in a year.  20% of the year equals 73 days, which equals 1.4 days per week.  On average, I will have 1.4 days per week to splurge a bit.  The .4 equates to about 9 hours, and can probably count for something small, like a glass of wine or light cocktail, or a small sweet treat.  

2.  Establish a weekly rotation of healthy breakfast and lunch plans.

There are many articles pertaining to weight maintenance that suggest eating the same things every day.  Fact:  Neither I nor my husband will tolerate eating the same thing for dinner every night, and so I will permit myself the pleasure of cooking a variety of food. However, I am absolutely comfortable eating the same thing for breakfast and lunch.  For ease of planning and shopping, I will establish a total of 4 week-long breakfast and lunch menus. 

3.  Eat something for breakfast upon my arrival at work. 

Wake up time is around 5am.  Based on my past experience, the tummy tends to grumble the loudest around 10am, and I start to feel like eating between about 8 and 9am.  

4. Alcohol or Sweet treat - in most cases, not both.  

I am permitted to choose one adult beverage or one sweet treat.  It should be a very rare occurrence that both are consumed.  

4. Take a brisk walk with the dog as many days of the week as possible. 

Self explanatory. 

5. Strength training activities 3 to 4 times per week, at home. 

Look into Pilates and HIIT videos.  Select one workout per week to make longer, and the others can be short but intense.  This is in addition to the brisk walk with the dog. 

6. Use Sundays to prepare my appearance for the week. 

• Manicure/Pedicure
• Facials 
• Eyebrow maintenance
• Pick out work clothes for the week

7. Decide on some type of meditation and/or relaxation exercise to better manage anxiety and depression.  

This may be a formal meditation or relaxation exercise, or might be something as simple as writing or doing listening to something that makes me feel good about myself and others.  

8. Put together a reading list.  

Reading relaxes me, helps me sleep, and helps me think more clearly.  It is crucial to my week.  

9. Establish a daily health entries on my calendar and track my progress. 

Write it down.  Schedule it.  Be honest with myself.  Make myself accountable.  

Goals & Planning

Santa's sleigh has come and gone and so has the delusional feeling that I have been good all year, and that I deserve all the stuff.

After the novelty of Christmas wears off - usually Christmas morning if I'm being totally honest - it is time to reflect on the prior year and how badly I botched things up:  how much weight I gained; how many times I let people down; how cluttered my home is; how much time I wasted; and, in general, how little I accomplished.   

However pessimistic and depressing this sounds, it usually does prove to be a worthwhile exercise as long as things don't get out of control.  It is an opportunity to look back, assess the current position, and gauge where I am capable of going. Typically results are born from a harsher, more critical viewpoint, than from comfortably contented one.  

Seven days after Santa abandons us, we are blessed with a new year.  I can't call it a blank slate; after all, what's been done can't be undone.  To me, the new year is more of an object hurled in my path to get my attention.  It urges me to stop for a moment, to look around in all directions and to make a decision if I like the path that I am on.  

This year, since I've committed to keeping this blog as a journal of sorts, I've decided to take a more constructive approach, by memorializing what's gone right and wrong in the past, taking an honest look at where I am today, and finally setting goals and expectations in writing, in the hopes of adding in an extra layer of accountability.  

Over the past year, I have determined that I:

1. Have a terrible attention span and am very easily distracted. 

2. Really enjoy taking photographs.

3. Find solace and comfort in writing down my thoughts.

4. Still love to cook.

5. Can get very depressed. 

6. Have an amazing family and wonderful friends that I do not interact with enough. 

7. Have a desire to create. 

8. Am capable of making changes in my life.

9. Am often too lazy to affect change in my life. 

10. Cannot eat and drink whatever I want and still maintain my weight.

11. Do not feel good mentally, emotionally or physically if I don't exercise. 

12. Spend entirely too much time pursuing empty google searches and websites.

13. I spend entirely too much time on chairs and couches.  

13. I waste entirely too much time distracted, googling and sitting on the couch. 

Based on my review of the past year's discoveries, I've decided on the following focus categories for 2017.  They are not listed in any order of importance.  Goals will be added to each category. 

1. Health 

2. Friends and Family

3. Passion and Creativity

4. Order and Organization

In conjunction with the goals, I have also decided to do a better job of keeping my calendar updated. I've determined that there are 4 calendar entries that I need to see each day, in order to stay on track:

1. Daily Exercise Requirements

2. Breakfast and Lunch

3. Dinner

4. Chores

5. (BONUS!) Passion and Creativity Activity

Finally, a note on manageability.  Here are some things that I need to remind myself as I move forward with my goals:

1. I have a tendency to decide on everything I would like to change and try, and attempt to do everything all at once.  This is a short-cut to failure (and not the good kind of failure).  

2. I question everything, and need to make the purpose, goal and benefit very clear to myself in order to meet my expectations and the expectations of others. 

3. For big results, make small changes and be consistent.

4.  I am making these changes for me, and only me; I do not need approval or applause from anyone but myself.    

Tomorrow I tackle my first health goals and corresponding calendar entries. 

Limitations and Opportunities

"Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they're yours." - Richard Bach

That is a quote that resonates with me.  I am a very strong and effective advocate for my limitations.  My strongest arguments are as follows:

• It's all been done before.  There is nothing that I can think, write, photograph, or cook that hasn't already been thought, written, photographed, cooked, etc.  Why bother if I can't do something new? 
• I can't do "it" because of a lack of skills, creativity, etc.  
• Failure will surely make me a laughingstock, to myself, my husband, my family, my friends, perfect strangers
• I will have to admit that I don't know something.
• If I don't succeed on the first try, I can't do it. 

Within all of these arguments lies a contradiction, and each is encumbered with pride, fear and laziness.  

It's all been done before.  

Of course it has all been done before, but as Liz Gilbert so eloquently points out in her book Big Magic "Most things have already been done - but they have not yet been done by you.".  

It is quite prideful to think that, after 6,000 years of civilization, and my sheltered life in Cleveland, OH, I am going to find something to do that hasn't already been done or at least thought of.  It is not impossible, but it is certainly not a reason try things that I, personally, haven't already done.  

I can't do "it".  

That may be a true statement, but it is wholly dependent upon what "it" is.  There are things that I am never going to have the skill to do.  I'm definitely not coordinated or athletic - I can't go to the Olympics.  That is a fact. 

Other "its" -  things I have an interest in such as writing, photography and cooking - are certainly do-able.  These things simply require practice and dedication.  But most importantly, all require hands-on trial and error.  It is quite prideful to think that I am going to be good at something the first time I pick it up to try.  My lazy streak manifests itself when I become burdened thinking about pushing myself to learn a new skill.  My fear of failure convinces me that I shouldn't even try.   

Failure will make me a laughingstock 

Yes, people may laugh at me.  But so what?  I may take a funny picture or cook something inedible.  This does not mean that I am doomed to failure!  Overcome the pride and fear factors by learning to laugh at myself, and most importantly, learning what went wrong so that I can try again next time.  

I will have to admit that I don't know something.  

Ouch.  

I don't know everything.  

When I think about the amount of things there are to learn about on this planet, I know nothing.  For some reason, I always want to be the person that walks into a class already an expert on the subject being taught.  Maybe if I close my mouth and open my ears, I will learn something well enough to ask a well thought out question.    

If I don't succeed on the first try, I can't do it.  

I have learned that it can actually be a curse to have natural ability.  I have found that it makes it so much easier to give up on things that I do not succeed at doing on the first or second try.  I also find myself embarrassed if I don't ace something the first time I do it. 

Arguing for my limitations causes me to miss out on many opportunities.  I am beginning to learn that creativity is fostered by pursuing interests and activities where I will never fully "arrive".  There is no finish line.  There is no perfect.  There is always room for improvement and growth, and always a new technique to learn.  

As long as it does not stop future attempts, failure can actually be a more valuable part of the creative process than success, and reminding myself of this helps me face my fear.  Failure slows things down and causes me to fight the urge to be a know-it-all and seriously examine the process. It humbles me, with the reminder that I am blessed with so much more to learn.  It makes me tougher and builds grit.  It also makes me more empathetic to others who are on their journeys.   

Fear and Creativity

There's a book by Elizabeth Gilbert entitled Big Magic.  I have read this book once, and I decided to read it again...it was that good.

As the author states, if you're someone who is already comfortable with your relationship with ideas and creativity, the book is not for you.  This book is for people like me, who feel that they are not the creative type, but wish they were.

Ms. Gilbert talks about the magic of creativity.  She literally thinks that creativity comes from the supernatural realm, and that ideas seek human vessels willing to host and nurture them.  Ultimately, each person has a choice as to whether or not they choose to welcome the ideas or not.  Saying yes can mean a great deal of work and struggle, but also accomplishment and fulfillment.  Saying no might be the right decision based on many different factors, but it can also mean missed opportunity and emptiness.  She also points out that we often say no to ideas because we are afraid.

In my own experience, I find myself quite capable of persuading myself to say no to most ideas that have even a hint of creativity.  As I have gotten older, it has become quite clear that fear is really the common denominator of all of the reasons that I give myself.  And if creativity dwells in the supernatural realm, fear is definitely a shape shifting nemesis.

When ideas come knocking on my door, I look through the window.  I'm usually quite happy to see the idea, and I really want to open the door, but the key to the deadbolt has been hidden from me.  I ask for the key to the door, and a sensible voice asks me if I think that is a wise decision.  It is a familiar voice, and I listen.

For me, at least, ideas do not typically come to visit me alone.  Ideas tend to bring along their cunning friend, fear.  Fear is quite savvy.  It knows that it is not typically welcome when it enters undisguised; no one wants to be afraid, after all.  In an effort to survive, fear takes on many forms, including but certainly not limited to:  an efficient project manager concerned about my available time; a shrewd accountant warning me that there's not enough in the budget; a trusted psychologist who feels that the pressure and rejection might be more than I can handle; and a security guard who wants to shield me from injury.

Fear can also take on some unfriendly forms: the older sibling that laughs at my inexperience, and leaves me behind because I am not cool enough to be part of their world; or the bully that steals my lunch money and threatens to beat me up for being different, forcing me into hiding.

It is true that fear can be useful.  Sometimes fear is right.  But as I get older, I am starting to see that fear should not be my superior.  Like a trusted adviser, fear should be consulted and considered, but never in charge.

I try to have a discussion with fear (or whoever fear is pretending to be at that moment).  I share my thoughts in an attempt to win the debate.  Words are powerless; the only thing that keeps fear in check is action.  Action is made manifest by confidence. But confidence is ironically quite shy in many of us, and like a child unfamiliar with people and surroundings, needs to feel a level of comfort before it will stop hiding and interact.

Unlike fear, confidence does respond to words, and luckily, confidence is quite gullible.  When I tell confidence that there's nothing to worry about, even if I am lying, she will believe me. She peeks out from behind the wall, and I can keep coaxing her along.  I tell her we will learn as we go, even from - no, especially from - our mistakes.  The key is the volume of my voice; I need to speak loudly if I expect to steal the attention of confidence.  She is hearing impaired, and the voice of fear is powerful.

Practice makes perfect; as they say, I need to fake it until I make it.  The fear of failure, the fear of hard work, and even the fear of success can be very powerful forces.  When creative ideas knock on my door, confidence and action need to overrule my tendency towards fear.

Manageable Bites

I tend to bite off way more than I can chew.

Take this blog, for instance.

I am really interested in learning how to express my thoughts and interests in writing.  To learn to write, I need to practice and write on a daily basis.  This seems simple and intuitive.  Write every day.  Write about what I'm feeling and thinking; what I'm eating and drinking; what I'm photographing.  Write about the exciting, write about the mundane.  Get the words out of my head and onto the paper.


A while back, this desire peaked the interest of my inner perfectionist.  This component of my personality tends to get very excited and dreams big, and for all intents and purposes, has a mind of her own often dragging the rest of me kicking and screaming on her path to do something big.  "We'll start a blog!" she said.  Immediately she began to think of all the beautiful blogs she like to read, and decided that she was going to design one.  It couldn't be one of those free, simple looking ones; of course it needs to be a fancy, professional looking blog.

Not a single word was written, but a huge bite was taken; the quest for the perfect blog template began.

After some intense time was spent on the search for perfection my inner perfectionist started to become frustrated.  She knew nothing about blog design, and didn't really have the time to put into learning.  She had me convinced that I couldn't possibly pursue my desire to write without having the perfect looking blog to publish the posts.  The idea was scrapped, not just the blog, but the writing, too.

The big bite was too big, and so I spit it out, just like I always do.

The urge to write has returned, and I've made it clear to my inner perfectionist that she needs to stay out of this.  I will take small manageable bites.  I will write regularly and establish a habit of writing and editing.  If I am tenacious enough to commit to this journey, I will learn more about blog templates and hosts, and migrate to something fabulous down the road.

For now, it will be enough to write.