Just Say "Thank You"

Have you ever said something to someone with the intention of building them up, only to get sucker punched?  Not literally, of course, but verbally.  Have you ever sucker punched someone for saying something nice to you?  I have both received and dealt this proverbial sucker punch.  And it has led me to a new resolve:  just say "thank you". 

 Compliment someone, and nine out of ten times, they will come back with a reason why they don't deserve the compliment.  Compliment me, and I will most likely do the same.  

Why do we find the need to put ourselves down when someone says something nice to us? 

Deep inside, I think that there are many of us who feel that we are somehow building the person who gave us the compliment up by putting ourselves down.  The intention is good, but ultimately, everyone feels bad.  

Have we ever taken a step back to consider that the person doling out the compliment is trying to give a verbal gift to the recipient?  

(At this moment, I'm going to interrupt myself and clarify - I am referring to a sincere compliment, not an Eddie Haskell kiss up compliment.)

When I see one of my friends or colleagues looking particularly nice, I tell them.  My intention might be to give them an extra boost of confidence.  If they are doing something good for themselves, I might be trying to encourage them to keep doing what they are doing.  Lately, I've realized that when people do not except my compliment, it hurts, and I've been trying to figure out why it hurts. 

First of all, when we do not except a compliment, we are basically discrediting the words of our friend giving us the compliment.  We are kind of calling them out as being wrong, or insincere.   

Second, we are subconsciously fishing for more compliments.  If the person is being sincere, then they are going to try harder to make their words stick.  

Third, we are behaving like a martyr.  And no one likes a martyr.  

I've been working hard to just say thank you.  

"Hey Rachele - I really like your hair today."  

It is so easy to respond with something self deprecating, like "ugh, really?  I hate it!".  Think about it. Haven't I just accused them of having bad taste?  Deep down inside, don't I hope that they are going to tell me again how good I look?  

How much better would I feel, and how good would I make them feel if I just said "THANK YOU!"

Just say thank you.